Importance of choice ✨

Today in therapy I was in deep conversation about trauma and negativity, when I realized I was missing something. 

For a long time I have been so open that I let everything in- good and bad, and it seems as of late everything had been bad or negative. It was forcing negative influence in my own world due to the overwhelming feelings of others. In this world now how could any sane person function by letting every single thing in life touch them in one way or another. While your heart is open and intentions are pure set on helping all of those who need it, you are letting EVERYTHING in. The good fuels you- fills your cup but the “bad” drains you leaving you to feel empty and worn out. Any situation even if not your own, you let in and take from you your prized energy. The only thing that fuels you and like the current draws you forward. 

I have been living life without a shield for most of my life because I thought that it was only a hinderance. I thought that if we have a shield we lose the connection to those people around us because we don’t let their good and bad in. I have witnessed so many others around me who built a wall, strong enough to sustain Fort Knox, and in so doing have cut out the emotional from life. It is as though they themselves have turned to stone, people and events no longer cling to them but instead roll off like rain drops. Not just the things they choose either, things that for others around them mean more to that person than they understand.

I have always prided myself on the ability that I have to put myself fully in the shoes of another. As I try to embrace their ideas and reasons for being who they are. It enables me to understand them on a level deeper than most. This is one of my gifts that I cherish, however it can be draining and a constant flux of negativity if you allow it to be. Instead however of building a wall it should be more like a selective permeable membrane allowing ourselves to choose what we let through. Not stone walling everything. We should fuel the events ideas and people with our concentrated awareness when they enhance our inner light, provide us insight or are helpful in some way. If they are simply negative, critical or self deprecating we refuse to nourish those thoughts. We want to nourish those thoughts, feelings and behaviours that help us flourish and find success. Our thoughts are very much like our garden. When we want our flowers to grow we give them the optimum space with sunlight, feed them with attention, and water and watch them flourish. Same can be said for our mind- nourish the thoughts that you want and starve the ones you don’t. This is our selective permeable membrane. This is where we make the concious choice to chose energizing, fueling, loving, happy thoughts even through challenge and difficulty.