Afraid of silence

We have a tendency to be constantly on the go, constantly in conversation with ourselves or others. We forget to stop and simply enjoy the sounds of the moment, the sounds of silence.

Why do we have the innate need to be always talking to someone, to always be moving and to never sit in stillness? We want to be busy because it looks to others as though we are always productive. In all honesty how much of that constant busyness is actually productive? We all know that despite what we are actually doing our mind wonders off to these far off places of past or future either reminiscing or waiting for an event or situation. Are we actually productive to our fullest potential? And how many hours a day are we actually productive? 

An average worker works 8 hours a day but studies show that they are actually only productive 3 hours of that 8 hour day. Most workers spend the majority of their time being distracted by social media, other people or their own mind. A study from found that the average office worker is only productive for two hours and 53 minutes a day. A lot of time is spent checking social media accounts, news websites, taking smoke breaks and even looking for a new job. More than half need to break up the day with short breaks. The reason being most people can not stay concentrated on a single task for much more than an hour. This is the breakdown of where our attention diverts to.

1. Checking social media – 47% (44 minutes in 8 hours).

 2. Reading news websites – 45% (65 minutes in 8 hours).

 3. Discussing out-of-work activities with colleagues – 38% (40 minutes).

 4. Making hot drinks – 31% (17 minutes). 

5. Smoking breaks – 28% (23 minutes).

 6. Texting and instant messaging – 27% (14 minutes). 

7. Eating snacks – 25% (8 minutes). 

8. Making food in the office – 24% (7 minutes).

 9. Making calls to partners and friends – 24% (18 minutes). 

10. Searching for new jobs – 19% (26 minutes).

It is definitely important to evaluate how you spend your time at work and home, this way we can see if there are ways you are able to be more productive in your life. I have found that taking 20 minutes in the morning for myself- my quiet time it helps improve my focus but also my healthy happy thoughts. Meditation is known for it ability to de-stress mind before work but also helps to improve focus on the tasks at hand. I was reading this article about how 35% of all heart attacks happen on Monday morning. The stress of the thought of work alone induces heart attacks for those prone to them. This idea of stress inducing dis-ease has become a real interest to me, as I myself had been in a state of disaster for a few years. But with the help of breath & body connection through yoga I have been able to lessen those extreme feelings that used to be a constant. Now they come and go but I am much more capable of managing those feelings that arise with feelings of anxiousness or stress. The moment I felt overwhelmed, anxious or stressed I would spin out of control into fits of anger, sadness and fear. Now I recognize my reaction, take a few breaths and return to my response- instead of reaction without thought. It is imperative we recognize our reactions and ask ourselves is this really how I want to respond to others. 

I was afraid of silence- of being alone with myself because I wasn’t really sure I liked the person I was at that time.  The reason being wasn’t because I bad person, it was because I went through a very traumatic situation for me that created the fight or flight response within. My body was always on high alert, reacting thinking I was always in danger. Through relaxation, breathing and drawing myself back to the present- I was able to remember respond instead of react, be here, now, be compassionate and loving toward myself. It is ok to be wrong, as long as you do things out of love. As long as you do your best to realize that you yourself are your best friend- be a little selfish once in a while because you can not depend on others to give you a break. Be the bestest friend you have, find and understand your reactions where they come from and why they are there. Be gentle with yourself when you make a mistake, but learn from it. Love yourself more- never less, especially when you are having difficulties, difficult emotions, and fears. Let love in.

3 thoughts on “Afraid of silence”

  1. jenny80 it’s Barbara Milewska. I like your article. I’ve read a few days ago a tekst about waiting for response. In a business, sellers ask the question and waits only 3 sekunds. We need more for make good response. 8 sekunds. Good to remember.

    Liked by 1 person

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